Angela is a Vampire
by FallenStar22
Summary: Twilight parody, so Twilight haters will like this one-shot about a camping trip and a slight vampire misunderstanding...


**AN: This is based around DofE (a camping trip) that I went on so most of these events (except the last confrontation) did actually happen. The whole vampire thing was a joke that cropped up between us. So enjoy this Twilight parody (I think that's what it is) and this is for Angela, Megan, and Sabbi, they know who they are. ;)**

"Angela is a vampire; it all adds up." Megan stated to Sabbi unquestionably. She stared back worried that her friend had been reading too much Twilight lately.

"I'm serious," Megan insisted. "She doesn't like going in the sun, she wears factor 50 suncream everyday, she has pale skin, she's beautiful, and she's always going on about blood types. Can you get anymore vampirish?" Sabbi gazed at her best friend contemplating the facts. When they were stated like that it was hard to deny that she wasn't a vampire. It would also explain her ability to run the 100 metres effortlessly and walk up those hills without even needing a break.

"Hey guys," said Philippa as she appeared out of her tent with an unusual bright smile on her face. "I didn't know you were up." She stretched to refresh her aching muscles after their long walk the previous day and revealed two small but significant bumps on her neck.

"Is Angela awake yet?" asked Sabbi tactfully.

"Yeah," replied Philippa, "She always wakes up early. Although you wouldn't think her to be an early riser considering how late she normally goes to sleep."

Megan and Sabbi looked at each other startled at the information they had just received. That and the suspiciously looking vampire spaced bites on Philippa's neck had caused them quite alarm. They knew Angela slept next to Philippa in the tent and were grateful they didn't.

As they set off on their third and final day, Sabbi couldn't help but remember Philippa repeatedly saying that she was in pain and couldn't carry on any further. She had dismissed that as general pain that came with walking up a never ending hill with 17kg on their backs, but know she was wondering if it had anything to do with the poison spreading through her veins. True, it was nothing like Stephanie Meyer had described, but then stories were always exaggerated to make them seem more dynamic, so maybe something really wasn't right here. Surprising, Sabbi noted as the day progressed, Philippa's grace with which she climbed over barbed wire fences began to rival Angela's although she still lacked that inhuman speed that all vampires carried. Or maybe she was just hiding it; Sabbi would never know.

The group of girls returned to the campsite exhausted but satisfied at completing their challenge. After all, they hadn't been walking for three days for nothing. Since it was their last night everyone got down to a game of frisbee (using someone's plastic plate) and them made numerous human pyramids out of which only two succeeded. Megan and Sabbi were in their tent with Philippa and another group of friends observing how her mood had improved considerably compared to yesterday. They had their own ideas about where she had disappeared to last night – perhaps hunting to get rid of her crabbiness. After all there were plenty of sheep lying around.

Curfew finally ended their joyous night and in desperate need to stay outside many goodnights were drawn out and repeated. Thanks to that, Megan and Sabbi never knew if Angela and Philippa had gone to sleep as all their friends had been in the tent with them and therefore had no need to get out and say good night to the various other campers. The morning revealed that Philippa had woken up to see the sunrise alone, but Megan believed that she had never slept at all as Philippa never woke up early on her own accord. While it seemed that their best friends were acting fairly normal, Megan and Sabbi didn't want to take the risk with a newborn vampire on the loose.

"Philippa. Angela." Stated Sabbi bravely coming up to them. "We need to talk." Under the pretence of filling up water they dragged their group away from the camp and got to the point.

"Okay, Angela? Are you a vampire?" asked Sabbi cautiously.

"No!" replied Angela laughing. "What made you think that?"

"Well..." began Sabbi and recounted their suspicions; meanwhile the other two girls listened in amusement.

"But Philippa has two bite marks on her neck!" burst out Megan. "You must have bitten her on the first night so she would have recovered by now." Philippa instantly moved her hand up towards her neck drawn to the two very itchy insect bites.

"Ah," she said placing her index and middle finger on each bite." They are just insect bites. I found them yesterday morning. They do look quite like vampire bites, I can see how you got confused."

At first Megan and Sabbi stood wordless but then began the torrent of accusations: what about waking up early, having pale skin, running fast (Angela and Megan were the two fastest runners in their class.)

"I woke up to see the sunrise," claimed Philippa like before.

"I am photoallergic so I can't go out in the sun without suncream so I never get tanned." Angela answered. "And you're just as fast as me Megan, and you Sabbi," she added as an afterthought.

"And I don't have pale skin at all," piped Philippa – it was true, she would sooner pass for a werewolf than a vampire.

"Oh." Was the only word Sabbi could manage.

Megan looking unfazed about the whole affair said, "Well now that's sorted I want to go home."

"Yes," agreed Philippa. "And to have a nice bath. Do you know what I think I'll read?"

"Twilight," replied Megan and Sabbi in unison.

"Oh, "commented Angela. "I thought it was going to be Jane Eyre or something." They all joined in with her laughter and made their way back to the campsite just before the coach came in.


End file.
